Confirmed

Confirmed.

A few things were confirmed today:
1. I am cursed
2. Powers is no better than any other guy around.

Drama came in town today, and Powers is already reverting back to a sex-driven puss with no real spine. Brutal? Over it.

I don’t know who to believe, I don’t know if I care. Powers picked Drama up from the airport. He asked my permission, he asked me to trust him. And then he took her to his boat. And they haven’t left… for 7 hours.

I almost want to cry. Partially because it’s Powers, but mostly because he was supposed to be the one who proved me wrong. He was supposed to be the guy who actually liked me enough to resist temptation.

Would you believe I almost considered telling my family about him?

This is my curse… the second I start to like a guy, enough to tell the family about him, something goes astray. It’s like a panic button or a cosmic “no-you-can’t-be-in-a-healthy-relationship” cloud comes towering over to shove my heart from my sleeve back into my chest.

Granted, I am notorious for seeming to “candid” or “casual” with men, meaning I let them think “I’m cool with whatever, and I totally trust you… blah blah blah.” But really I’m saying, “dear god I’m so F*ing terrified you're going to get over me the second I start to like you. So please please please reaffirm that you like me on the hour so I don’t start to let my paranoia take over my logic, forcing me to write a babbling blog about how men suck.”

Someday, a man is going to go out of his way to make me feel special, even if it doesn’t seem necessary. Someday a man is going to see through my “laid back” exterior and realize I’m just putting up a defense to appear unscathed by the constant heartache.

My curse will be broken. Unfortunately Powers seems wrought with Drama, and ergo… I will have to roll down my sleeves, and keep myself out of this mess.

Tomorrow I’m buying a house. A house! And all I can think about it how Powers is on a boat with Drama.